How to win friends and influence people. – Dale Carnegie

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“If there is any one secret of success it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”—Henry Ford

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

Criticism is futile because it puts us on the defensive and usually makes us strive to justify ourselves. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds our pride, hurts our sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

Don’t criticize others; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.

Now, let me tell you about the principles discussed in the book.

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
  2. Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
  3. Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
  2. Principle 2: Smile
  3. Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  4. Principle 4: Be a good listener
  5. Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  6. Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
  2. Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
  4. Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way
  5. Principle 5: Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately
  6. Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
  7. Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
  8. Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
  9. Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
  10. Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives
  11. Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas
  12. Principle 12: Throw down a challenge

Part 4: Be a Leader—How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Rousing Resentment

  1. Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation
  2. Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
  3. Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
  4. Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
  5. Principle 5: Let the other person save face
  6. Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
  8. Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
  9. Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

  1. Welcome the disagreement
  2. Distrust your first instinctive impression
  3. Control your temper
  4. Listen first
  5. Look for areas of agreement
  6. Be honest
  7. Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully
  8. Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest
  9. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:   

  1. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person
  2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do
  3. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants
  4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest
  5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants
  6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit

You can buy the book How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie from the following link:

If you like How to Win Friends and Influence People, you may also enjoy the following books:

•  The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

•  Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek

•  To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Persuading, Convincing, and Influencing Others by Daniel H Pink.

Happy Reading.